Discernment Service for Couples Contemplating Divorce

• "I've been thinking a lot about divorce - if only I could be sure."
• "We've tried therapy so many times. I just don't think I can go through that again."
• "My spouse has seen a lawyer, but I want to try and save my marriage."
• "What if I put our kids through this and then regret my decision?"

If you are struggling with divorce indecision, don't proceed until you've had a Discernment Consultation. The word "discernment" means the ability to judge and decide well; with clarity, understanding and confidence. When you are deciding something as important as ending your marriage, you need to have confidence in your decision. You want confirmation that your relationship is beyond repair. This is a newly developed service for couples who find themselves on the brink of divorce.

This is not therapy. It is not trying to fix you or your relationship. It is also not divorce coaching. It is an analysis of your relationship with the goal of helping you mutually reach a decision about the future. As a certified Discernment professional and marriage specialist, I assess the factors and patterns that have you stuck; identify why previous attempts have failed; and can offer predictions going forward.

Discernment follows a structured protocol of thought-provoking questions and reflective dialiogue, with spouses together and separately. It is solution-focused, research-based and aimed at helping you come together to determine a clear path forward: using what you have learned to create a game plan and work intensively to either save the marriage or proceed with a more positive divorce: mutually agreeing to minimize the pain and harm to yourselves and your children.

How long is the process?

You two decide. Usually 1 - 5 meetings. The couple decides at the end of each meeting whether another meeting will help their decision making.

How much does it cost?

$150 per hour. The first session is two hours, subsequent sessions are a 90 minute format.

Does insurance cover this?

I do not file insurance claims for discernment services. While this can be therapeutic, it is not therapy and therefore not covered by insurance.

What if my partner doesn't want to come? Can I come alone?

No. Discernment counseling requires both of you. However, I have found that when someone is reluctant it is often because they don't fully understand that I won't be trying to persuade or convince them to accept a direction. I always speak with each partner separately on the phone to explain the process, address any questions or concerns and see if you are appropriate candidates for Discernment Counseling before we schedule any sessions.

Do we have to be married?

No. Discernment counseling is a viable option for non-married couples, heterosexual or same-sex couples, and couples with or without children.